The Art of Farting: Extreme Jedi Anus Control

Nearly all humans (admittedly childishly) admire the ability to emit uncannily musical armpit or hand farts, or even rarer- mouth fart motor engine aping. However, it is the rare occasion that a performer's gaseous-sounding melodic notes are indeed truly gaseous (meaning literally discharged from the butt-hole).

The King of Flatulism (the professional art of farting) was a man named Joseph Pujol, who went under the stage name of Le Pétomane. Pujol's gift was his power to "inhale air into his rectum and then control the release of that air using his sphincter muscles", supposedly avoiding the corresponding stink.

Pujol's talents included the ability to:

• suck water up the anus and then shoot it back out several yards in distance
• blow out a candle from several yards away
• imitate musical instruments with his melodic farting and "play" songs through a rubber tube inserted in his anus
• imitate the sound of cannon fire, thunderstorms and earthquakes

Note: Pujol's talents didn't go unheralded. For some time, he was the star attraction at the legendary Moulin Rouge, and also performed for the likes of Edward, Prince of Wales, King Leopold II, and Sigmund Freud.

When the talented flautist passed away in 1945, the Sorbonne offered his family a large sum of money to examine the corpse's magical anus, but the family declined, stating "there are some things in this life which simply must be treated with reverence."

• Previously, May the Fart Be With You.
• Hand Fart Guns n Roses Rock Ballads.
• Holy Mother of God, This Kid's Mouth is a Muffler.